the pace methodology
A relationship-based way of building safety and trust
Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy help shape the way adults build trust, respond to difficult moments and create greater felt safety.
our approach to pace
trust is built in the everyday
PACE is a relationship-based approach developed by clinical psychologist Dr Dan Hughes. At Rubicon, it helps shape the way adults build trust, respond to difficult moments and create greater felt safety in everyday relationships.
Children who have experienced trauma or disrupted attachment may have good reasons to be cautious about adults. Trust cannot be demanded or accelerated by telling a child that they are safe. It develops through repeated experiences of adults being predictable, interested, emotionally available and able to stay in relationship when things become difficult.
PACE supports that process. It is not a script, a reward system or something that only appears after an incident. It encourages adults to think about the emotional experience underneath a situation and remain relationship-focused while still holding appropriate boundaries.
playfulness
Warmth and lightness where appropriate can help relationships feel safer and create moments of shared enjoyment. It does not mean making light of difficult feelings; it means leaving room for connection and enjoyment alongside them
acceptance
Acceptance means recognising the child’s internal experience - thoughts, feelings, wishes and intentions - even when a boundary still needs to be held around behaviour. The child does not have to earn acceptance by getting everything right.
curiosity
Curiosity asks what might be happening here rather than assuming we already know. It helps adults think about what behaviour may be communicating and stay open to the child’s experience.
empathy
Empathy communicates that difficult feelings do not have to be experienced alone. Adults try to understand how something feels from the child’s perspective and remain emotionally alongside them.
PACE in ordinary life - and explained for children
PACE matters on ordinary days too. It can be there in conversations, shared jokes, meals, journeys, activities and the thousand small interactions that gradually build a relationship. When something does go wrong, the same approach helps adults stay curious about what happened, hold boundaries without rejecting the child and think about how the relationship can be repaired.
For a child, the explanation can be much simpler: Playfulness means there can still be fun and lighter moments. Acceptance means your feelings matter even when an adult has to say no to something you do. Curiosity means we will try to understand what is going on rather than deciding we already know. Empathy means that when something feels hard, we will try to understand and help you through it.
what people say about rubicon
Trust Is Built in the Everyday.